16 Personalities on a Coffee Date


– So I thought we could start
with just a little meditation. So just close your eyes. – [Date] Okay. (breaths exhaling) – Feel the energy in your heart Chakra. I’m sorry, hold on one second. That barista over there, you see him. – [Date] Yeah. – He just looks really sad. I think I need to go cheer him up. One second, I’ll be right back. Hey buddy, you need a friend? – [Date] I’m just gonna
go find the restroom. – Yeah, okay, I’ll be right here. (paper rustling) Okay, so far so good. Man, man, I have got to
have a word with the manager about running this place a little better. Excuse me. Yeah, that guy over there
in the blue shirt, yeah. He ordered that latte with no foam. Well, I over heard it yeah. No I don’t know him. Just make it for him again please. Thank you. It’s like amateur hour over here. Okay, next on the itinerary for the date, we will exchange likes and dislikes. You know music, food, et cetera and so on. I’ve got my list all right here. Well, yeah, you can go first if you want. Dude, do you think they would care if I just started like
doing my own open mic night right here in the middle
of the coffee shop. (guitar strumming) ♪ Ooh ♪ (guitar strumming) This is for you by the way. – [Date] So what’s your love language? – My love language, I
don’t know, like English. This is Brazilian coffee. Did you know I used to live in Brazil? – [Date] Oh really? – Yeah I just, I threw a dart
at a map and it hit Brazil, and it was like well, it
hit Brazil, I gotta go. I find the whole dating process
to be quite inefficient, so I went ahead and just
made a questionnaire for you. If you could go ahead and fill that out. Just email it to me. If you score higher than
85, I’ll get back to you. Thank you, have a good day. – [Date] Wow, this coffee shop has a really cool
atmosphere, don’t you think? – I guess, I picked this coffee shop because the brew water
has the perfect pH level. – [Date] Isn’t this a cool place? – Well, yeah, but this coffee house is run by the Illuminati. So what do you want to
do for our next date? Do you wanna get married,
I mean get sushi? – [Date] So what do you do for a living? – Well, it’s not a
terribly simple question to answer now is it? Because do you just mean
how do I make money? I make money in many ways. Or do you mean how do I fill
up my life with good things? How do I actually make
my life worth living? It’s an entirely different question. So you’re gonna have to
define your terms here. So do you want to come over
to my place after this? ‘Cause I have baked an awesome cake, and all my friends from
nursing school are coming over and we are gonna have a cake party. I don’t think we’re a match for dating, but I do think we’re a match for me being your relationship coach, because I can just tell, I can just tell by looking at you you’ve got this unresolved trauma. You’ve got limiting beliefs. I think I can help you. All right, well we better go, ’cause I got us skydiving
tickets, let’s go. (relaxing music) Oh, yeah it’s green, dummy.

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