[Ensemble]: RWBY Chibi! [Neptune]: Junior Detectives! [Sun]: Hey man! How’s it going? [Jaune]: Oh, uh hey man, uh, you’re talking to me. Never thought I’d see the day. Uh, good, I’m good, great actually, uh, I’m okay. How uh… how’re things with you? [Neptune slams the cup out of Jaune’s hands]
Ah!! Hey! [Officer Abs]: LITTERIIIING!!!!! [Jaune]: What?! Officer! No! I was framed! [Officer Abs]: Likely story! [Neptune]: And right next to a trash can? Do you have no heart? [Jaune]: No! I’m a good person! I swear! Look! I have a library card! [Officer Abs]: Woah! Look out! [Neptune]: We’re going into lockdown! Neptune (Offscreen): Ow! Ow! Ow! My goggles! [Officer Mustache Down] [Officer Abs]: Oh, now you’ve done it! [Jaune]: Why don’t I learn?! [Ozpin]: And now, Team RWBY presents an original stage play entitled “Little Red Riding Hood”. [Ozpin]: Once upon a time, there was an adorable girl who went by the name of Little Red Riding Hood. [Ruby]: What is good in the hood? [Ozpin]: Loved by many and known for her colorful hood, Little Red was on a very important mission: to deliver baked goods to her dear sweet grandmother. [Ruby]: Yeah, we tried to put her in a home but she wasn’t having it. Sooo… gotta go feed her. [Yang]: Hey Red! Make sure to bring Grandma some produce this time! These old legs can’t run on chocolate chips alone! [Ruby]: Yang! This isn’t your scene! [Yang]: And these aren’t even real glasses! Heyo! *Audience chuckling* [Ruby]: Ech, amateurs. [Ozpin]: But as she frolicked through the woods to her grandmother’s cottage she came across a creature who had more.. sinister intentions. [Ozpin]: A big bad wolf! [Blake]: Okay… why am I the wolf? And why am I flying? [Ruby]: Duh, because you’re half animal, this part was made for you! [Blake]: What about Zwei?! [Ruby]: Zwei? He’s the stage-hand! Plus, the wolf’s a bad guy, and you can’t be mad at that face! *Zwei barks* *THUD!* [BIake]: *muffled* I can be mad at that face. [Ozpin]: The big bad wolf wanted to gobble up Little Red and her treats, but she had made one terrible mistake.. [Ozpin]: Little Red Riding Hood was a trained warrior with a deadly mechanical scythe! [Ruby]: It’s also a gun! [Blake]: It’s that a prop or… [Ruby]: Step off, wolfy!
*cocks Crescent Rose* [Ozpin]: And so, the big bad wolf decided to retreat. [Blake]: Heh heh… uh… right. [Ozpin]: But the wolf wasn’t going to give up that easily. She had a plan. [Ruby]: Scene change! [Ozpin]: She took a shortcut to Little Red’s Grandmother’s house. Where she found the old woman sleeping soundly in her bed. [Blake]: Um… [Ruby (Offscreen)]: Yang! [Yang]: Did somebody say Grandma? [Blake]: You’re looking good for your age. [Yang]: I work out! [Blake]: Uh, aren’t you supposed to be in bed? [Yang]: Who’s got time for sleep when I’ve prepared this great song and dance number? And’a one, and’a two– [Ruby]: Stop upstaging everyone and get in the bed! [Yang]: This is my one scene! Get off my back! [Blake]: Just get in bed Grandma. [Yang]: Easy there wolfy, you haven’t even bought me dinner yet! *Audience laughing*
[Yang]: Heyo! [Ruby]: Ugggh…
[Blake]: Okay, I’m just gonna move this along and eat her. [Ozpin]: And just like that- [Ozpin]: The big bad wolf gobbled the grandmother up! [Blake]: There. Now you’re dead. [Yang]: Oh! Woe is me! I was too young to die! Despite what many thought, seeing as I was a grandmother! *Yang squeaks like a toy as she’s kicked and groans as she crash-lands* [Ozpin]: The wolf disguised herself as Little Red’s grandmother and laid in bed, waiting to ambush the unsuspecting child. [Ruby]: Hi Grandma! Thanks for the birthday cards! Dad told me to bring you food! [Ozpin]: Now… the wolf needed only to draw Little Red closer. [Blake]: Hey, come closer. [Ozpin]: But as the young girl drew near, she noticed something was wrong. [Ruby]: Gee grandma, what big eyes you have! [Blake]: Wow, what an insensitive thing to say to your loved ones. [Ruby]: And what big ears you have! [Blake]: You know I’m really self-conscious about them, thanks for bringing it up. [Ruby]: And Grandma, what big teeth you have! [Blake]: Okay, you’re just a rude little brat, I’m gonna kill you. [Ruby]: Ahhh!
[Blake]: Rawr! [Yang]: Woah! Smells like someone’s got some big, bad, BREATH! [Ruby]: Yang! This is a sad scene! [Ruby]: The audience can’t be sad if they’re laughing! [Ozpin]: Um….. then the…. Woodsman… entered…? [Weiss]: Why do I have to be the Woodsman again? And why does this weapon have two axe-blades? You can’t even aim! [Port (off-screen)]: Ho-ho! Personal preference! [Ruby]: Because we’re best friends, and best friends have each others’ backs! [Blake]: But wait, I thought Red Riding Hood had a scythe, why does she need a Woodsman? [Ruby]: You guys are ruining my vision! [Weiss]: Who wrote this stupid story anyway? [Ruby]: I did! Thank you very much! [Yang]: Ugh, no wonder. Red Riding Hood’s a total Mary Sue character. [Ruby]: What?! [Yang]: “Loved by many and known for her hood?” You totally based her off yourself. *Ruby getting extremely aggravated* [Ruby]: I like to think that art is open to interpretation. [Ozpin]: Wait a minute… aren’t you kids all supposed to be in class? [Ruby]: CHEESE IT!! [Zwei]: Woof! ♪This is the way we wanna spend everyday♪ ♪Laughing with our friends and keeping sadness away♪
[Ruby]: Click here if you wanna wear some stuff with us on it! ♪Join us and see we can be happy and free♪
[Ruby]: And click here if you wanna watch some stuff with us on it! ♪ Life if full of fun ’cause we’re all chibi!♪
[Ruby] Cuz, ya know, more us! Duh! [Ruby] We’re awesome!